I slowly open my eyes. Its still nighttime and I raise my right wrist, where I wear my watch. I have very bad vision and almost have to rest the watch on my eyeball to see the time. I push the button on the side of the watch with my left hand so the face lights up. I squint a bit, its hard to read the small numbers, Two O’ Clock in the morning.

   I lay quietly listening to the sounds of the night, while laying on my right side. My right shoulder feels stiff; I roll over to my left side. Rolling to the left side definitely feels better. I usually always sleep on my left side. In shifting my position I have inconvenienced both cats. The Siamese, Bear has been forced to resettle. He has made himself into a ball at the back of my knees. I can feel the warm of his body against my legs. Cats seem to fall asleep quickly. They probably don’t have a million flashes of thought going through their mind.

   I think about the few Yoga classes I have taken. In class I had learned that the uncontrolled thoughts are called Monkey Mind. In an instant my mind shift again to the cats sharing my bed. The black cat Bat has also made some sleeping adjustments. Seems I have inconvenienced him as well. Bat moves to the bottom of the bed. My thought shifts again to the sounds of Bear snoring. Bear has a funny little wheezy, snore sound. Bat always sleeps quietly. Usually on his back with his paws spread out on either side of his face. I can’t see him, but I know he will end up in this position. Just like I always end up on my left side.

   Thoughts of the past day flash through my mind. Cleaning the litter trays, trying to start a book that didn't’t quite catch my interest. What needed to be done in the barn that didn't’t get done? I’m trying to decided if I should get up and do something constructive or try to go back to sleep.

   At that moment of thought, Monet, the third cat jumps lightly upon the bed. I can feel her cautiously walking across the bed towards my back. She slowly climbs on top of my hip and settles in for the moment. I can feel the vibration of her purring and the warmth from her body. I know I could never sleep with Monet lying on top of me. But Monet having come from an abusive background won’t stay long. Her nervousness will force her to move on in a few minutes. I close my eyes hoping to feel the drifting off that happens before falling into the unconsciousness of sleep. I lay there waiting, and wondering if dying will be like going into an unconsciousness sleep. I can’t get the sense of never waking up. Never having the feeling of some kind of conscious thought.

   I open my eyes and become aware of the light reflection on the glass sliding doors of the bedroom. The lights on the glass are like twinkling stars that are blurred. Without my glasses my vision is like a Monet Impressionist painting. I wonder if Monet painted in that style because he really needed glasses? I become aware of my breathing and focus on that. Hoping that focusing on my breathing will help me drift off to sleep. My thoughts start to drift when I am brought back to sharpness. I can hear rain starting to fall on the roof. I think of the terms used for rain hitting the roof of buildings, pitter-patter. I think yes it does sound like pitter-patter before it gets heavier and louder. As the rain starts to fall harder I hear the rain coming down the gutter. The rain as it slides down the gutter towards earth creates an echo sound. The twinkling reflections of light on the glass sliding door have now become blurred lines of bright blurred streaks. I watch quietly with a quiet mind, for the moment.

   As expected Monet stops purring and slowly leaves the top of my hip. I can feel her paw steps as she goes to the end of the bed. I hear the soft drop down to the carpeted floor. She has gotten better after living here for two years. I think about Monet when she first came. I put her in the master bathroom. Thinking this would give her and the other two cats time to adjust. She stayed behind the commode for months. Even after I left the door open. Hoping she would find her way to the rest of the house. I was also hoping she would make friends with one of the other cats eventually. Reminiscing I remember back when I got up to go to the bathroom for a glass of water around 2 AM. I noticed that Monet was not in her usual hideout behind the commode. I went throughout the house looking for her. When I caught a blur of movement from the corner of my eye. She was making a dash for her secure place behind the commode. I realized then she was doing reconnaissance work at night. It took about five months for her to become comfortable moving around the house in the daylight. She has come a long way. But I know she will never be completely comfortable around people. I knew when I took her in that she may never become a lap cat. She has overcome many fears and has affection for her new found family. She still has her quirks and that’s OK. I know she has finally found happiness.

   I check the time again, 2:30 AM. I’m still thinking of getting up. But dread leaving the warmth of the goose down comforter. I pull the comforter up further up around my neck. I have to pull fairly hard. I’m dragging two cats that weighed about ten pounds each. I tuck the comforter a little tighter around me and savor the warmth it gives.

   I can hear the rain getting harder against the glass sliding doors. The wind now adds to the echoing sounds down the rain gutter. I hear Monet lightly padding around the bedroom, while Bear resettles slightly after being pulled six inches upward on the bed. He goes back to his wheezy snoring. Bat also shifts and I figure he is going to end up again on his back with his paws stretched out beside his face as usual.

   Thoughts fly through my mind like monkeys would fly from tree to tree. Yes, I can see how Yogi’s would use the term monkey mind.

   I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Again I check the time, 2:45 AM. I think about the up coming horse show in June at the Raleigh Fairgrounds. I am not sure if I look forward to the competition or not. I know the dressage test at Intermediate by memory. I close my eyes and start riding the test in my mind. A enter collected canter, X halt salute, precede collected trot, C track left, H X F extended trot. H collected trot. The last thing I can remember, V half pass right.

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